DEAR FINE BARA….

AN OPEN LETTER TO THAT FINE BARA

Please do not read if you cannot relate, it might come out as mean but this is how I really feel about this.

Hello sir, you are wehdon.

Ah mean, wehdon sir.

The way you walked into my office blowing grammar and claiming that you just came in from the states but you don’t have Naira on you was really amazing. You should go for Nollywood movie auditions, Ah mean you got me there. ..promising to pay me and all.

Claiming that you had an urgent situation and you needed to buy your drugs. I felt pity for you, I’m a Christian. Jesus had compassion on others so it’s normal for me to do the same but imagine my surprise when I found out that you lied to me.

I had gone for my usual weekly prayer walk and decided to pray at the altar, as I strolled towards the altar, I saw you in one corner in your full room and parlor flat at the auditorium. I cleaned my eyes again, wondering if it was the dust of the road that made me think my phonetics speaking fine bara was the one living in an open place but I wasn’t wrong. It was you sir! Ah! It took Jesus, the scarf on my head and the bible under my armpit to keep me from calling you out.

I was like really? This man!!! I kept screaming in my head as I strolled by your executive flat.

About 7 months after, you came into my office again and totally ignored me, you took the stairs. Walking past me really fast like a flash, I spotted you at once. I knew you had come for your next victim and it gladdened my heart that I was quick enough to disrupt your deceitful mission by informing all my colleagues (unsuspecting victims).

Just three weeks ago, you came again. This time even more confident than the first, looking like a million bucks arguing with the manager that you had booked an appointment to see him earlier, then the usual story came.

“My wife is about to transfer some funds from the states but I need a raise to quickly fix some bills” Thank Goodness I had given the guy a heads up, he was quick to dismiss you.

Dear Fine Bara, how about getting a job or at least being truthful about your true financial status instead of formulating daily lies?

I thought I was done with your kind, until this yellow woman came. It was just a week ago, she claimed that her bank had network issues and she needed to pay the workers she hired. She claimed to have a certain amount and just needed a little more to balance up. I had heard that line before but her defense was strong.

“Sister, look at me na. I’m not the kind to borrow and not return it. I will be back in your office on Monday to return it, curse me if I don’t return it.”

My eyes nearly popped out, ‘Haba Madam! Its not that serious, why would I curse?” I quizzed.

She even pleaded with my colleague to borrow from others to give her when that one claimed to be broke, thank goodness my colleague was not gullible enough to yield to her demands.

Long story short, your yellow sister is still yet to return with half the money she requested that I gave her. I gave her half of what she requested because somewhere in the corner of my heart she reminded me of you.

What if you even sent her here? Okay maybe not.

Dear Fine Bara, please leave me alone. If you need money ask, but please do not lie to me anymore. Don’t speak big big grammar, don’t talk about the states or that your wallet fell and you need transport fare…just simply ask or should we call it beg? I’m tired of your lies.

Yours’

The Alaanu Samaria

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