A breakup is arguably one of the most painful things in the world, regardless of whether you are the dumper or the dumpee if you had genuine love for that person you would get hurt when it’s all over. Over and over again, we have read stories of people who got suicidal due to a bad breakup and some even succeeded in ending their lives for this reason.
Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I have only been the dumper once and even that time it sucked as hell, it was something I knew was right but it hurt really bad all the same. All the other times I went through a breakup I was the dumpee and OMG that sucks way more than being the dumper.
Truth be told, crying uncontrollably, rolling on the floor, wasting all the tissue rolls in the house, texting that person, talking to their friends, calling them with private lines just to hear their voice, praying that you wake up and the breakup turns out to be a dream….Been there, seen it all done that. None of these things will help you feel better and get back to normalcy again.
So if you really want to get over it and move past the breakup hurt, this is the way to go
1. ACCEPT IT
I know that coming to terms with the fact that the world you have built around that person you love has come crashing is very difficult. For the first few days after a breakup I used to be delusional, I’ll keep telling myself it’s unreal just to keep the tears from rolling out. The most painful thing would be not to cry so just accept that it is over and cry as much as you can, reminisce on the good times and come to terms with the fact that the breakup is real.
2. GET CLOSURE (IF YOU CAN)
A closure is important if you really want to move on fast, getting to know what exactly led to the breakup makes it easier to accept it and heal. Being in the dark as to what caused the split makes one cry uncontrollably and ask rhetorical questions only the other person in the broken relationship could answer if only they were there. I particularly hate breakups done via texts, emails or phone calls because you don’t really get a chance to see the emotions behind the words and you can’t really ask questions about the situation. If the other person is willing, you can boldly ask to meet up and talk. However, if you know you cannot handle it (don’t go and be crying like baby Kingsway there) or the other person doesn’t consent please forget it.The hottest love has the coldest end ~ Socrates Click To Tweet
3. BE SINCERE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL
Boy Bye! Good riddance to bad rubbish etc. Do not deceive yourself, my dear! You know how it hurts twice as much when you are in pain but you have to put on a cloak of pretense as if you are unbothered. Don’t be that guy! It’s okay to cry, it’s okay not to be okay, it’s okay to hurt after a breakup. Don’t lie about your feelings, everyone knows you’ll be hurt by a breakup so don’t be too hard on yourself. Be real about it, it is what it is. Tell your friends how you feel, confide in someone you trust.
4. RELY ON YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY
One of the worst things you can do is to isolate yourself after a breakup, you’ll just end up crying a river and swimming in it. Get out there, hang out with your friends, do fun stuff, create new memories. One of the major reasons breakups are hard is because of the memories you shared so opening up to experience new things with the people who have your back at all times; friends and family will go a long way.
5. MAKE NEW PLANS…DO NEW THINGS
Yea, I know you made future plans revolving around that person you loved…well since it ended it’s time to make plans for yourself now. Do you! Love yourself! Change your wardrobe if you have to, get a new haircut, start working out, improve your fashion/makeup game. Not in an attempt to make them wish they never let you go but to make you a happier and better person.
6. TALK TO GOD
Getting over the pain is one thing, getting over the person is another. It’s really not so easy to forget someone you loved so much and couldn’t do without so you need to ask God to help you through the process. This is a very tough thing trust me, it was really difficult for me to get over people because I used to believe that once you love someone you can’t unlove them you would always have a soft spot for them one way or the other. It takes God to help you get over a person you had strong feelings for. Talk to him to help you.
7. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL
Time heals everything, well that’s what they say huh. I think it’s important to heal properly before jumping into a new relationship. I would suggest 3-4 months but for me personally, I used to do 6 months or more. If you rush things you might just be taking garbage from your previous relationship into the next, so allow some time to pass, in that time work on yourself. Analyze the past relationship and correct whatever you need to work on personally.
Remember that something good ends so that something better can begin. Don’t stay brooding or have that feeling of being not enough. In no time, you’ll be strong and ready to move to a more beautiful love experience.
I hope you find this tips helpful, let me know how you get over breakups in the comment.