How to keep intimacy alive in your marriage

Now let’s be real, after a few years with your significant other, things might get so familiar to the point where the spark seems to disappear.

Yes! You are certain you still love them but those butterflies and sweet little things appear to be non-existent in a way.

I’ve been married for seven years plus so I can totally relate with this struggle!

Nonetheless, we all must acknowledge that marriage is about intentionality and if you can put in the work, the spark of intimacy won’t die just like that!

10 sure ways to keep intimacy alive in your relationship

1. Listen to your partner and have vulnerable conversations

Find opportunities to pay attention to one another and sincerely hear any worries you both may have about anything.

The more vulnerable communication you have with your spouse the closer you guys become.

Don’t hold back on how you feel, talk it out. Don’t assume they know, years may have gone past but believe me they can’t read your mind so please talk and also listen to their own thoughts and feelings.

2. Do more homely activities together

Go shopping for food together and alternate preparing the dinners. I find that even though my husband and I work alternate shifts, he works during the day while I work at night.

On our days off, we go shopping together and sometimes do our batch cooking together. While doing this, we talk a lot, listen to music and just catch up. It sure helps keep the intimacy alive in our marriage.

3. Get Physical…Touch is important

Try to hold hands and kiss each other every day. You never know what a simple hug and kiss can do especially when someone feels so tired and overwhelmed.

Hold hands, rub foreheads, kiss, and hug each other daily.

4. Greeting each other daily

I know it’s not the easiest thing to do when you both work long hours or alternate shifts but try it.

Get up to greet each other at the door whenever the other person comes home. It makes the other person feel so special and loved.

5. Make an effort with your looks

Don’t get too familiar.

Really try to look charming for you as well as your partner, regardless of whether you’re sitting at home together.

Try not to become aloof or smug, with regard to being desirable for your spouse. Make the effort coz they deserve it.

6. Read the room…pay attention

Tough conversations are key in marriage but knowing the right time to bring things up is very vital to keeping intimacy alive in your marriage.

Don’t bring up issues when it’s clear your partner is in no mood for banter or tough conversation.

Be mindful of your spouse’s mood swings and be gentle with them in the event that they are going through something.

Have a heart-to-heart talk with them when the mood is right. Don’t pressure your man or woman to talk immediately if they prefer to be quiet at that time. Give it time.

7. Plan simple weekly or monthly dates

It doesn’t have to be anything super fancy, plan a date! A quick coffee shop date, a walk together, or just a movie night at home.

Every little effort counts, be consistent with it and watch it boost the intimacy in your marriage.

8. Make time for sexual intimacy

This cannot be overemphasized. Sex in marriage is a game changer. Don’t always put it off or postpone it. Be ready, be into it and let your guard down.

You are a couple, enjoy each other. Set the mood even before the act and make it special. After the act don’t run away immediately too. Read 7 things to not do after sex

9. Compliment each other more often

Those little compliments work magic and they sure help make your spouse feel loved on a daily basis.

I like your hair. I love your new perfume

You make me so happy

Your smile is so charming

You make the best coffee

All these random compliments count! Your spouse may not remember everything you do but if you make them feel appreciated, they won’t forget that.

10. Say I love you as often as you can

Above all other compliments, the 3 magic words mean everything to your spouse. Say it out loud! Write it in a text. Sing it in a song, drop it in a random hidden note in their car or wardrobe.

Saying “I love you” as often as possible is beautiful to keep the intimacy alive in your marriage. Don’t forget to say it every day as you leave home for work.

In conclusion, IT takes TWO humans to build or break a marriage, so it’s important to do your part.

If you notice that things begin to change between you as a couple. Act fast!

The moment effective and vulnerable communication is lacking, your intimacy could gradually begin to slip away.

Continuously make the effort and once you notice something is off, address it immediately before it grows and destroys the bond you once shared.

Also, read activities couples can do daily to bond intimately. 

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