MY PROBLEMS WITH LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS & HOW I RESOLVED THEM

ARE THEY EVEN WORTH IT?

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Hi, Lovelies! I don’t know what you feel but I am of the opinion that Long distance relationships are not made for everyone definitely not for the faint-hearted ones. Let’s be honest, it’s not easy at all.

A relationship in itself is a piece of work so dealing with distance is another ball game entirely but you can still pull it off if you have the strength to do these things I’ll mention shortly.

MY LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCES

I remember back then before I got married, I had to turn down a lot of relationships because I really couldn’t handle the thought of managing yet another LDR(Long distance relationship)

The Long Distance Relationship thing never really worked for me so it was just safe to avoid the torture, most times we just happened to fall out of love due to the distance or just maybe I was never really into them. Oh well! whatever

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Last week in my Relationship Whatsapp Class, we discussed this at length and from the views of various people I could tell so many others have also had to do the same. I really wonder how some folks stay for a long-term relationship that is also an LDR. 7 years, 8 years….How?

As for me, I won’t advise that an LDR should last too long. I think the most important thing is to have a stipulated time frame in mind and know that the other person is really worth the sacrifice. I mean just knowing that there is a countdown to when you two would be closer again makes the days and weeks roll by faster before your eyes.

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Quite a lot of people have wasted time nurturing LDR’s that didn’t eventually work out because there was no specific goal attached to the LDR situation and just maybe the other person was not worth the sacrifice at all.

A study shows that 40 percent of Long Distance Relationships are likely to fall apart, that doesn’t mean that they don’t work out but the likelihood of them working out is very slim. Most times it’s like walking on thin ice. Dealing with the distance, time-zone difference, family pressure and temptation is real out there guys. Let’s be real!

That being said, I think the fuel on which every LDR stays lit are Communication,  Care and Trust (CCT) once any of these is lacking such relationships are bound to fail.

It’s essential for both parties to talk to each other about how they are handling the separation. They have to be fully aware of each other’s feelings at every time and be more involved in each other’s daily activities. Truthful communication is very vital to the success of any LDR. Calls, texts, photos and videos would help. Thank God for social media, it makes it a lot easier. Whatsapp especially is a lifesaver when it comes to this.

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Care in an LDR also goes beyond just Are you okay and I’m fine, for LDR’s you need to develop a deeper level of sensitivity whereby you can read meaning to the sound of the other person’s voice and the way their responses are when texting each other. That kind of care requires more in-depth effort from you.

Trust is one of the major parameters that sustain LDR’s, relationships, where people have doubts about their feelings for each other or the character of the other person, would have no chance on this. Partners need to develop a high level of trust in each other, must prove themselves trustworthy and must be committed to making their relationship work against all odds.

 

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One serious issue with Long Distance Relationships is Jealousy, I had a major altercation with an ex-years ago so I know this jealousy part so well. Gosh! Jealous people are scary! It was a terrible experience, a story for another day.

Once jealousy creeps into a relationship it literally cripples the level of affection in it.  So as much as you want to be sure that the other person is keeping it a 100% you also have to avoid overdoing things and allowing jealousy get in the way.

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One of the most-read posts on the blog…click to read!

Easy ways that worked for me that you can also try to maintain a Long Distance Relationship include;

  • Phone calls & Texts on a Regular
  • Video calls, skype, facetime and the likes
  • Watching the same movie at the same time
  • Photographs (no nudes tho)
  • Send gifts, flowers, photo frames, tee-shirts etc
  • Have matching hand bands, key holders etc
  • Read the same book and discuss
  • Plan an online meetup like it’s a real date, dress up and get in front of your computer or phone
  • Mark the calendar and countdown to your next meet-up
  • Hangout with friends and share photos with the other person
  • Pray together
  • Share jokes together
  • Attend programs or events that the other person would have loved to go and tell them about it

It’s a phase! You will get through it together if your commitment to each other is strong enough. Like I said earlier, let there be a time frame. Plan visitations too (if possible), set relationship goals you two can strive for together.

LDR’s could make  No-sex relationships easier, they also help strengthen sensitivity because you tend to pay more attention when the person is not always around than when they are, the absence could also make the heart grow fonder like they always say.

All in all Long Distance Relationships could be fun, the most important thing is to determine or decide right from the beginning if you can really handle it or not.

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Feel free to join my very interactive Relationship Whatsapp class that holds 7 pm Nigerian time every Saturday, click here to join

Anyone who survived a really long-term Long distance relationship or had to break up an LDR should share some advice with us in the comments.

Thanks for reading, feel free to drop a comment and kindly help me share this post!

Love Y’all

XX

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