I want to assume we all remember that good old song by Seyi Sodimu;“love me jeje, love me tender…you are my sugar,my honey,my tender lover…if you say you love me,I’ll stay forever….Everyda….ay I think of you…”
Alright that’s ok for a reminder,now let’s talk about the TLC (Tender Loving Care) supply.
My big cousin Tomiwa is a manly man. I call him that because he is far from emotional. He says things as they are without trying to add a little butter or sugar to make it sweet. He’s very blunt and sometimes when he speaks you’ll think he doesn’t care about the receiver’s feelings. Tomiwa is newly married and his wife, Sewa and I are very close.
Sometimes ago, I went to spend the weekend at their place. We went to the supermarket in the area to get groceries for the house. Sewa was wearing a heeled sandal and as we were entering the supermarket she slipped. Thank goodness I was there to hold her hand, or else she would have fallen in the humpty dumpty way.
Tomiwa just turned back, said sorry and continued moving. Obviously he didn’t take it as anything serious. However by the look on Sewa’s face I could tell she wasn’t too pleased with the cold comfort she received from her husband. Sewa is this hopeless romantic, who desires to be pampered and treated ‘jeje-ly’ but my dear cousin Tomiwa, her husband is a little too uptight to do all that romantic stuff.
Just like Tomiwa, my friend Derin is the female version. She’s not emotional in anyway, things that will affect any other lady won’t even affect her at all or maybe she’s just an expert in hiding her true feelings. Derin’s boyfriend of 2years got a scholarship for a 2year course abroad recently, when she came to inform me, I was happy for him but I felt sad for Derin considering the thought of a long distance relationship.
The day before he was supposed to leave the country, Derin and I went to his place to bid him farewell. After about 3 hours of talking and advising him to keep in touch in every possible way, we were set to leave. I expected to see tears in Derin’s eyes or maybe a sad face at least. But Derin had a normal face, I was the one even feeling moved to tears. I can’t imagine the amount of tears that my eyes would have produced if I were in her shoes….Rain drops I presume…LOL
A lot of us have significant others who are just like Timi and Derin, they are far from emotional. Very blunt, straight forward, no bend, no curves, simply logical. Sometimes it’s hard to know if they truly care about you because of the kind of nature they have. However, in most cases it doesn’t mean these kinds of people are not in love, it just shows our differences. They are not the emotional, lovey-dovey kind of human beings.
People like Sewa and my humble self are the love me jeje kind of people who love to be treated gently. The soft voice, the kind words, the pet names, the romantic gestures…..we love all that stuff. But most times, people like us are stuck with people who love us but are exact opposites of the kind of people we are. Therefore some of our expectations are left hanging.
In relationships, it is pertinent to have a proper understanding of who your significant other is, the kind of expectations he/she has and find ways to meet most, if not all of them. The best relationship is not two people who are the same but two people who have a proper understanding of their differences and know how to align them so that in the end each party has their expectations met.
Try and give your significant other that jeje-ly, tenderly treatment. TLC is considerate and compassionate care towards your significant other. Be gentle, be sweet, be tender, be loving and most importantly make him/her happy.
Ladies, this also applies to you. Treat your man with respect, make him feel special. Don’t just take in the jeje-ly treatment; give him his own share too.
Love should be a give and take thing, when its one sided, the relationship won’t grow.
Love me jeje, love me tender…LOL