what your man really wants

Love is such a beautiful thing, especially when you and your partner have a great friendship and a good understanding of what you want out of your relationship. All men regardless of their tribe, socio-economic status, age or nationality want similar things from their relationship or marriage and when a woman is able to do things right they are able to express their love to her much more.

I was talking to my Uber driver on my way to the mall the other day, he is from Algeria. He asked me if I was married and I said yea, he said he was also married but that his woman does not really know what he wants and they argue half of the time.

According to him, most women are clueless about what a man wants, they think sex is the only thing that satisfies a man but there are so many other things that men want that they might not necessarily ask for. So let’s get right into this list, I bet you are already doing some, innit?

what your man really wants

1. Sex

Well, this has to be number one my dear sisters, oh well this applies to married couples only tho…hehehe. Let’s be real, husbands want to get down as many times as they can, so you have to be willing to do just that. However, they also need those unexpected kisses, hugs and cuddles too. They don’t want to be the only one initiating things, they want you to make a move. They want you to make them feel sexually attractive too. Make a move! Talk about their expectations and be willing to try new things to spice things up behind closed doors.

2. Food

That thing about food being the way to a man’s heart? Girl, it’s so damn right! Look men don’t joke with food at all, especially Nigerian men. I always see the magical smile that surfaces when hubby returns home and there’s a brand new pot of soup with some smoky Amala wraps awaiting him, that, my friend, is a need that every good woman should meet. My Algerian Uber driver complained that his wife always wants to eat out, although that’s not a bad thing most men want home cooked meals.  Cooked by their own wives!

3. Respect

Whether you are age mates or he is a few years or a lot older a man wants you to respect him. Respect they say is reciprocal, so if you want him to respect you, you must be willing to respect him too. Alongside the fact that a man is the head of the home, he wants you to treat him courteously! Well, I know sometimes you are just pissed and you say things you don’t mean. I have done that a few times too but the moment I realize that I have blabbered nonsense, I apologize. He wants you to respect his friends and family too, so this goes beyond him. He wants you to treat the other people that matter to him well also.

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4. Appreciation

A man wants you to appreciate the efforts he is making, he doesn’t need you to complain all the time. He wants you to commend him, compliment him and encourage him to do much more. Appreciate the tiniest things, even if he buys you just a hair bun show gratitude. Let him know that you appreciate what he buys for the kids, your parents, your siblings etc. That will boost his ego and make him want to do more next time.

5. Understanding

In marriage, you have to understand your partners verbal and non-verbal communication. They call it love language, I’ll write about that sometime soon. On some days when my husband wakes up and is unusually quiet I try not to engage him in unnecessary banter. I also try to understand his point of view when we are jointly making decisions, I might not necessarily agree 100% with everything but I think it’s only fair to endeavour to see things from his own perspective too.

6. Expression of Love

Men want you to show them that you love them, they want you to say it, act it and they also want you to tell others. It makes them happy that you feel that way about them and that you are committed to being in their lives and loving them. A little PDA doesn’t hurt anyone, hold hands, hug etc. Send random I love you texts, buy unexpected gifts, calling him pet names men want those things too, they might not say it but it warms their heart when you do it.

7. Alone Time

No matter how much a man loves you, he would always want his alone time. He would want to watch the games, hang out and chill with the boys sometimes. Give him some space, don’t call him every minute while he is away, let him enjoy his time out and you should also do likewise. Don’t let marriage or relationship stop you from hanging out with your girls, your friends and family.

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8. Represent

A man wants his woman to look good, he might not be the richest but he wants you to always look attractive. They particularly like it when you go out together and other men are staring at you, everyone wants to have something that other people wish they had. Do it modestly and beautifully. Dress up for him, not only when you are going out. Show him different shades of you that would keep him interested every time.

9. Companionship

A man wants a lover and a friend. Making out time to do things together, builds your friendship. From joint prayers to bible study to music to movies to comedy to politics to sports, I do it all with my husband. I also talk about girly stuff like makeup and fashion with him too, that builds a bond and helps solidify the friendship we had way before relationship or marriage. A lover has to be a friend too. Show interest in the things he loves. Be a support system too.

10. Trust

I usually say that there’s no “US” without Trust. A man wants to know that you trust him and that you can vouch for him. He also wants to know that you are loyal and that you have his back at all times. Trust is very vital to the success of every relationship and marriage. I talk about this point explicitly in this other article

There are peculiarities for each man anyway but I believe most men want at least 7 of these 10 things, getting to know your spouse every day and rediscovering new ways to make each other happy is one thing married couples must consciously do. No marriage is perfect, there’s really no expertise in it. Just like you learn new techniques while working on the job, we all learn every day in marriage but the beauty of it is when both parties are making efforts to keep things together and be happy.

It’s also important to pray about your relationship or marriage coz like we all know human wants are insatiable, only God can help satisfy a human being…lol

I hope you found this helpful, let me know if you have any additions to this list.

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