Trying to date a Nigerian man? What to know about Benching

Benching in the dating world, have you ever experienced this? You may have, you probably didn’t realize it.

If you’ve dated Nigerian men in the past you certainly must have gone through this at some point. 

Personally ehn, dem bench me tire for this life ehn🤣😂 no be small

So what’s benching?

Basically it’s “Mo gbe won ni is coming” 😂🤣

Read that in Asake’s voice 😁😂

Okay for real, here’s how benching goes. You meet someone, you guys kinda click, things appear to be going on well, you guys are getting to know each other and all that.

However, weeks turn to months yet no graduation (as per let’s define our relationship)

The person keeps holding on to you but you can sense that you are not a priority to them. They still call and text you but nothing concrete.

It’s clear that they have options but they still shower you with the occasional attention. Yeah, that’s benching.

5 signs that tell a Nigerian man is benching you

1. They put in very little effort to keep things going but when they do contact you they say something charming to keep you interested. E.g my babe, my sweetheart 🤠

1. They tell you how busy they are and may take forever to text you back sometimes days/weeks, even though they always seem to have lots of time to be on their social media. E.g I should have called you but I’ve been forgetting

1. They seldom make concrete plans to meet up with you and when they finally do, they often bail on those plans with a weak excuse. Was it this week we were supposed to meet? Oh shit, something came up at work

1. They are really smooth when they feel that you are starting to pull back, they use every ounce of charisma to lure you back in and keep you invested in them. Eg. They Send a random gift or romantic text out of the blues “thinking of you, you’ve been on my mind” *yinmu*

1. In some cases they will stay connected via calls and chat for months and you never actually ever meet them. They are just using you to pass time or as a dress rehearsal for their next relationship.

Anything you can relate to here? Dating a Nigerian man is not easy.

You have to be sure this person values you as much as you do them if not you’d be wasting your time hanging around. 

Check well if you are not being benched and if you’re the one benching someone. “Remember the Lord is watching you!

Follow me on Instagram @Lqueentt to see more from me 

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