I didn’t want to marry him at first, I loved someone else more than I loved him.
This is a conversation that ensued between a family friend and I a couple of weeks back.
As a hopeless romantic, I had it at the back of my head that when I fall head over heels in love with someone I would do whatever it takes to keep them. You know back in the day, there was this Cheryl Cole song that said “if it’s worth having, it is worth fighting for.” So even after my longest relationship ended, I was in denial for 6 whole months that it was just a phase and he’ll make a U-turn and come back to me.
3 years later, he did come back but I was done fighting coz I finally realized the importance of being with a man who loved me more. I learnt a lot of hard lessons during that breakup and one of them is that flogging a dead horse will not bring it back to life! At least not immediately….in my case. LOL
You know I did all sorts of degrading things to myself back then. Omg! I was so delusional. Things like going to beg him at work, contacting his friends to plead with him to reconsider our relationship and all sorts of stupid things that make me cringe when I think of them now.
You never really know the agony of unrequited love until you fall madly in love with someone and they spit it back in your face. In my case, he went ahead to date other people almost immediately after we broke up and it left me feeling unworthy of love and not beautiful enough.
Have you ever been in a similar situation? If you have, you can relate that there are days you’ll wake up in the morning praying that he’ll send you just one text, just one whatsapp message or just one phone call. Times when you’ll pray he remembers you and comes to ask for a rekindle of your dying romance. It’s only a matter of time before you realize that there’s someone out there who would love you much more. Someone who would be more than willing to accept all your flaws and foibles.
It definitely took me a while to come to this realization but I’m glad I did eventually. For guys, you should definitely be with a woman you really love but as a lady it’s always 200 times better when the man loves you more. Keep reading to see my reasons why.
Here are 3 Major reasons why you should be with the guy who loves you more
Meeting someone who loved me way more than I did, made me realize that there’s much more value on this end of the pole. When a guy loves you more, he’ll put in a great deal of effort to do right by you. You won’t be giving a 110% and getting 50 back. He knows your worth and he’ll be willing to do all it takes not to mess up what you guys have going on. You wouldn’t need to beg him to call you or go on dates, these are things that come natural to someone who is so into you.
Your insecurities fade away around him
When you are with a guy that loves you more, you are free to be yourself around him. Everything you once tried to hide to impress some other guy would be out in the open and guess what? He’ll love you regardless of your flaws and imperfections. Remember that line from John Legend’s all of me? “Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections” that’s right! He’ll love every single thing about you and make you feel confident no matter what.
After being married for over 4 years to the guy who loves me more, I can tell you of a truth that he loves me unconditionally. No one is perfect and the fact that he still loves me on my worst days, days when I can be too much to put up with, makes it clear that I did the right thing. So it’s best to be with the one who would be there for you in and out of season, a ride or die who would have your back always. No one wants an unrequited love in marriage, that would be a nightmare. So it’s best to take your time and of course there are other qualities to look out for in a partner so you should take those into consideration as well, I wrote about things that will help you choose wisely before saying I do in this post. Click to read
I saw this graphic yesterday and I thought I would share it here also.
I hope you enjoyed reading this post, thanks to the person who sent in an email and of course you guys already engineered this by the massive response on the poll I did on my Instagram stories.
Have you ever been in an unrequited love relationship? What did it feel like?