I hope we all had a great weekend, well I know I did. I wrote a little something about expectations today and I believe some people would agree with me on this.
Before we put our minds to do anything in life, we all have pictures of what the results would look like in the end and we look forward to it. But when that thing doesn’t produce the anticipated results most times we get disappointed, discouraged or even frustrated.
I’ve come to realize that the major killer of relationships today isn’t distance, money, infidelity or lack of trust- it is EXPECTATIONS.
The reason for this isn’t far-fetched, considering the fact that a good number of us go into relationships with high expectations of how our partner should be and the kind of love they should give. There’s really nothing wrong in that but the problem is, we put so much effort into this and when the person falls short of our unrealistic expectations we get frustrated in the relationship. Coming from backgrounds with different traditions and conflicting ideas, we bring baggage and unrealistic expectations into a new relationship whether we are conscious of it or not.
Many a times a lot of these damages could have been avoided if we were able to minimize our own expectations or at least adjust them to a realistic framework. It’s only fair not to expect the other person to give more than what you are willing to give him/her. Don’t expect him/her to do things according to the fictional picture of a romantic movie playing in your head, adjust that TV set to Reality 101.
Allow your partner to give freely and don’t allow those resentments in your mind maybe because he/she doesn’t quite meet your high expectations.
I believe another great way to avoid this drama is to sit down and talk. This will help if done at the initial stage. Let your partner know what your expectations are from the beginning and find out what he/she expects from you as well. That way it would help to avoid disappointments.
Also avoid over-promising and under-delivering. Don’t say you can do the things you know quite well that you can quite meet up with. Be real and let the person know who you are and what you can do or give. Don’t give 50% when you have promised 110%.
Don’t create expectations based on the past, each person is different. Allow them love you in their own distinct way. Well that’s all I have to say on today’s som’n som’n.
Have an amazing week *hugs*
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