HOT AND COLD

139

Akere met Ige during her service year. On that particular day, she was late for CDS and she just wanted a straight ride. As a sure girl, she flagged down the oncoming vehicle and as always, its driver stopped. She and Ige became very good friends and you know how the story goes…… Oh well! That was 2 years ago.

Now Ige and Akere are still together but just like the weather they fluctuate. Sometimes Ige would be all lovey-dovey with Akere, pick her from work and even bring her food at lunch break but sometimes he wouldn’t even wanna see her all through the week.

At first, Akere felt he was cheating on her, but alas! She was wrong. Some other times she would feel he was trying to break up with her, so she also would start rehearsing her own breakup lines. On the show day, she wouldn’t be able to say anything coz Ige would have switched back to that lovey-dovey side of him again. Only God knows how guys pull that off. Akere was confused; she didn’t know what to make of the mixed signals she was getting from Ige.

Just like Akere, a lot of us have significant others who change like the weather. People who change their minds like a girl changes clothes,today they want this and then tomorrow they don’t want it all. I remember that Katy Perry’s song in 2007. “You are hot and you are cold, you are yes and you are no, you are in and you are out, you are up and you are down…..”

In relationships, some people have this very inconsistent attitude. Sometimes they do all the right things and sometimes they just seem to do only the annoying things and it gets the other person worried.

Consistency is one of the landmarks of a healthy relationship. Your partner should be able to predict your reaction to certain things. Not that on some days you’ll agree to something and some other time, you’ll flare up at the mere mention of that same thing.

In relationships, we look for consistency in the other person’s personality and behavior. What is needed is to understand the other person, respond to their moods and meet their needs.

For instance, your woman is worried about something that may have happened at work and instead of listening to her and giving her a reassuring hug; you just say a cold sorry and walk away. Or maybe your husband returns home pretty exhausted from work and you sit your ass down with African magic, not caring to help him undress and serve him a befitting meal. That’s being insensitive to your partner’s needs.

With some people, relationships are just like the weather fore-cast; a brief warm-up followed by a cold-front….NO!!! It shouldn’t be that way. You should understand what your partner expects from you in different situations and try your best to see to it that such expectations are met. If you don’t know, ASK!!! Don’t just sit there and say I don’t know what he wants….find out!!

Don’t just do it sometimes and then some other time you’ll leave them hanging. There should be consistency. No matter your mood, you should try and think of the other person. A relationship is majorly about sacrifice.

Consistency helps build trust and connection and those are the things that sustain a relationship. Each person has to participate so that both of you can stay happy in the relationship.

In my own words, Consistency in a relationship is a continuous conscious effort to put a smile on your significant other’s face no matter what.

What do you think? Please leave a comment before you go.

Have a great week

Love,

L’queen

Comments

comments

You might also like More from author

2 Comments

  1. Damilare says

    I think that’s the point the write up is actually trying to get across to us all, that in a relationship you need to understand the mood or better put the temperament of ur spouse so dat u will feel less offended or no offence wen d mood swing or anger is exhibited.
    I guess the question should have been how u can work out those issues togeda(because you already know the problem the person has)?
    Nice one semi B-day mate.

  2. ayuzekable says

    Nice write-up again L’Queen. Maintaining a consistent pattern of emotion is actuali important in a relationship,yes. But what about pple that hav issues with their emotions? Azzin,Anger management,low self-esteem,mixed feelings,etc how can dese pple maintain consistency? Keep up d good work. Hav a nice week.:)

WHAT DO YOU THINK? SHARE YOUR VIEW

%d bloggers like this: